Meet Mikey and Polly!

I’ve always said that I’m a loner…for the most part…I’m by myself.  Not necessarily because I want to be, but because that’s how I build myself.  I’ve been on quest to re-build myself for the last couple of years and I’ve discovered that I’m NEVER alone.  Even when no other human being is next to me, I ALWAYS have Mikey and Polly with me….24 hours a day….7 days a week….they are by my side.  I HATE them, but unfortunately, they will never go anywhere.  I just now need to learn how to ignore them both! They’ve ALWAYS been very important to me without me even knowing it.  Now, I have to fight to divorce them.  We’ve had a threesome for 39 years now and I want a damn divorce!!!!!! 

Let me introduce you to them.  First, meet my wife Polly….THIS bitch!!   All she does is complain!!!   “You’re not doing this right…you’re not doing that right…you’re not good enough…you should have done better better….you look bad today….you know you shouldn’t eat that…..you are nothing compared to her….he won’t like you if you don’t look right”….. yada…yada…yada…!  I HATE this trick, but yet…I married  her.  And, we’ve been married since birth!  Look at here….she can’t help herself…she ALWAYS looks like this….

Ugh!!!  It pisses me off to even LOOK at her!!!  The picture is not in color because she’s VERY “black and white”.  It’s ALWAYS black and white with her….there’s no gray area.  You either are….or you’re not!  Well, now….I wanna live in the gray area.  I want to stop expecting the impossible from myself and being married to her….I can’t do that.  So, I’m starting the divorce proceedings RIGHT NOW!!!!  As of this moment….she and I are done!!!!!!!!!! 

Now meet my husband…this evil bastard’s name is Mikey.  He ALWAYS has that evil smile on his face.  I used to think he was beautiful.  He had beautiful straight teeth…that thug swagger…he was my dude and I loved the crap out of him!!!  Now?  I despise his very essence!  Just look at him. 

He SWEARS I need him, but I’m here to tell the world….as of THIS moment….he can lick the rim of my ass!!!!!  Oh I hate him more than I hate Polly!!  This fool used to have me believing that when I was with him, everything was fine…..I had NO problems.  He brain washed me and I believed every freakin’ second of it.  When I was in my depression…he would drive me 5 different fast food places JUST to get my binge meals.  He would sit right next to me to make sure every bite of every binge was eaten.  Polly would come and try to talk to me to tell to go and throw it up because I wasn’t being “good”.  But, then….Mikey would sit there and make me believe that if I threw it up, the problems would come back full force and I would not be able to come out of the depression….like as long as I ate, I was ok.  I didn’t have to feel….I didn’t have hurt…..I didn’t have to cry.  He was “there for me”.   The crazy part about it…in some ways, he helped me get through a VERY rough patch in my life where I was seriously considering suicide.  But, he wouldn’t let me do that.  Every time I would think about killing myself, he would just say, “Mikk, you don’t need to go see a doctor….just get in the car…we’re going to get something to eat….it will make you feel better.”  And, every time….like a fool.  I would go.  I did have instant gratification and immediately feel better….but then, I would come out of my “food high” and the problems would still be there and I would feel worse from the guilt of binging on top of the original pain and problems.

Anyway, he and I are through!!!  I’m starting the divorce proceedings for me and him too!  I’m going to get my life right…RIGHT NOW!!!….away from Polly….away from Mikey!!!  Both of you bastards can kiss my ENTIRE ass!!!!!!!

You two can have each other because…..I’M DONE!!!!!!