Why I'm Big

Well, how much time do you have?

Well, to start off, I ate too much! I really hate being asked how I got fat. Every time I hear it, its like well duh! What the hell do you think? I ate too much! Ok, I’ll quit venting. It didn’t take long for me to start huh?

Ok, anyway, I remember my childhood. We never worried about what we ate. Whatever we wanted, we got. I am the baby of 4 girls. Therefore, not only my mother gave me what I wanted, so did my sisters. I was never told what I should or shouldn’t eat. To this day I don’t know why my mother did that, but then I didn’t care. All I know is that if I wanted a burger and fries from a fast food place, I got it. Thank you Ma! Even though it made for a good eatin’, in the long run, I guess not really knowing what “healthy” eating was contributed to how I am now.

My family never really made an issue of weight. I was one of the lucky ones. I never grew up with a family that said I was too fat. Hell, all of them were fat too. The only messed up part was, only the women of the family were big. I didn’t like the boys too much when we were growing up. They were all in shape. But even they didn’t make an issue of weight. Although my uncle once offered me a new wardrobe to lose 50 pounds. Yes I still remember that Uncle Stevie and when I lose my weight, I’ll be contacting you for that new wardrobe!

I guess that’s why my weight never really bothered me. I never tried to lose weight until I was 30 years old. Yes that old. That’s why sometimes I can’t understand how children and most women worried about being fat. It was just accepted in my family. It went with the territory. I never had a problem getting men. I always had a boyfriend and had several men chasing me at the same time. So the thought of a fat woman not having a man was beyond me. I’m not talking about just being overweight. Even at 522 pounds, the men still flocked to me. I told you I was still sexy!

One thing that growing up not worrying about weight did was give me confidence about my looks. Even though I know I needed to lose weight, that confidence made it to be secondary. But now, I know it is affecting my health. That’s the reason I really need to lose weight. This is not healthy. My knees and back hurt me on a pretty much constant basis even though I hate to admit it and try my best not to show it. Not to mention I bought some thongs and I look damn good in the now, so I know when I lose weight, there will be no stopping me. Yes you heard me right, I am, at this moment, 508.8 and I wear thongs! They made them in my size and fat girls can be sexy too dammit!

Now to all you children in elementary school, middle school, and especially high school you heffas can be cruel! All the fat criticism I didn’t have at home, I damn sure got at school. But you know what, all those that tease me, called me names and everything. I THANK YOU! You made me who I am. And, when I do this, I’m gonna go on a talk show and show all of you just what I did. I should list your names on here, but I don’t wanna do that…you don’t deserve the glory. You made me strive harder for what I am doing now, thus making me stronger. And for that I thank you! So, go ahead and doubt me, call me names, do what you do. But I can tell you, you won’t break me! I WILL do it. So PISS on ya!

This takes my story up to the beginning of this site and my realizing that I need to be better to myself and stop allowing myself to slowly kill myself with food. This is my journey…