, , ,

What’s different this time?

 

If I had to list all of the diets I’ve tried, we’d both be here for the next ten years..just to list them.

 

It’s crazy how many it’s been.   To give you some idea of a few of ’em, I’ve tried….let’s see I’ve tried

 

  • Weight Watchers
  • Jenny Craig
  • Nutrisystem
  • the juice cleanse
  • the potato cleanse
  • the cabbage soup diet
  • the watermelon diet
  • high carb
  • low carb
  • no carb
  • paleo
  • South Beach
  • Atkins
  • Zone
  • volumetrics

 

It even got so bad that I started binging and purging for short time.  Nope, this one wasn’t a diet, it was an eating disorder.  I told you, I’ve tried every thing.

 

I’ve even seriously considered weight loss surgery.  So much so, I was filming to be on the My 600-lb Life TV show.  That’s a story by itself.  Don’t worry, as soon as my contract is over, oh I’m spilling all the beans about that whole thing. *eyeroll*

 

Let’s just say, I wasn’t on the show….for good reason.  But, it was a huge blessing to film for it.  I’ll get into that then too.

 

Don’t cut me.  *giggle*  I HAAAAAAAATE when people start to tell me a story and then say they’ll tell me later.  I’d be ready to cut some folks.  *evil eye*   It’s not my fault though.  The contract won’t let me talk about it yet…so blame them.  *sweet innocent puppy dog eyes*

 

Ok, before I get too far along that tangent.

 

I’m the first one to admit that every single diet I’ve tried worked.  Yep, you read me right.  That’s what I said.  They.  All.  Worked.

 

The problem was, when I stopped the diet and started eating normally again, I found all of the weight I’d lost…and then some.

 

I’d lose 20 pounds and then gain 50 back.  I mean the pounds didn’t even have the common decency to stay away..and when they came back, they had the nerve to bring their funky lil friends with ’em!

 

It was so defeating.  Go on a diet.  Lose weight.  Go off the diet.  Gain weight.  Gain some more weight.  Feel defeated.  Repeat.

 

That was my life for at least the last 15 years.  It got me no where.

 

That leads me to now.  Now, it’s different.  Now, I’m not dieting.

 

My only concern now is really just eating real food, moving a little more everyday, and dealing with the bullshit that got me to 575 pounds in the first place.

 

To me, that’s the key. If I can truly heal everything that made me overeat to begin with, weight loss will be a side effect.  It will become effortless.

 

It will probably take longer to lose the weight, but I’m ok with that.

 

I don’t wanna just lose weight.  I wanna heal.

 

I don’t wanna be skinny.  I want to be healthy.

 

That’s my goal.  That’s what’s different.

 

Now, I know I can do anything I want.  That’s what’s different.

 

Now, I know I can create the life I want.  That’s what’s different.

 

Now, I know life doesn’t just happen.  I create it.  That’s what’s different.

 

Now, I know it’s about being able to handle my emotions…and not eating them.  That’s what’s different.

 

Now, I know that food is fuel…and not therapy!  That’s what’s different.

 

And for me, that’s mind blowing.

 

How can things be different for you?