Ever Wonder

How many times have you ever wondered…

1. Why do they call a building a building when it’s already built?
2. Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
3. How are pigeons here? Have you ever seen a baby one?
4. How do flies land on the ceiling? Do they fly upside down or do they get real close and hurry up and turn over?
5. Since cats have nine lives…..how do newborn kittens die?
6. Why is n-o-w….now and s-n-o-w….snow?
7. Why is it to, too, and two? Who said we needed 3 2′s?
8. Who invented school and how did they know so much?
9. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
10. Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
11. OK… so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs”, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
12. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one enjoys it?
13. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
14. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
15. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
16. Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
17. Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?
18. Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced one-ty one?
19. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
20. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
21. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
22. What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
23. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . …..they’re cramming for their final exam.
24. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
25. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
26. If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
27. Did you ever really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
28. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?