What’s up boo?
Gurl!!! Have you ever been dealing with so much crap…and you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and your brain is in overdraft and like….”I can’t deal with this. C’mon! Just one more time. This will be the last time. I swear.” You’re too drained to even figure out how to make the overwhelm stop. Then, before you even realize it, there’s a pile of wrappers staring back at you like….“Girl….what the hell just happened?!”
Yeah. Same.
But I’m trying something different now. I’m tired of feeding the pain instead of feeling it. Deep down, I’ve always known I could sit with the discomfort, but let’s be real: when you’re in that moment, carbs sound like magic.
Spoiler alert…they’re not.
Where It Starts: The Build-Up
Let’s be clear….binges dont’ just pop out of nowhere…and they’re not even really about the food. There about numbing out whatever feelings are bubbling up…under the surface.
For me, it usually comes down to one of two triggers.
First, exhaustion. I’ll be lying in bed, too tired to function but too wired to sleep. My brain’s like, “You know what’ll fix this? A shit ton of carbs.” And it’s tempting because, yeah, it works….but only until I wake up from the carb coma.
Second, that deep…old wound. You know the one…the one that screams….”You don’t matter. You’re invisible. No one cares about you.” That voice hits hard. Those are the heaviest moments. In those moments…food feels like the only escape.
Sometimes I see it coming. I’ll sit there, fully aware, ordering food or staring at the pantry, trying to talk myself out of it. “Ok, just this one time. You need this to get through. After this…no more!” Other times, it sneaks up on me. I blink and suddenly…I’m surrounded by empty wrappers like, “Damn, I did it again.”
The Binge: Numbing Out
In the middle of it? It’s pure relief. For a little while, the pain, the sadness, the shame—they all disappear. The food shuts everything off. It’s comforting. It’s numbing. It’s like hitting pause on everything that hurts.
But here’s the thing…that comfort doesn’t last.
The Aftermath: Regret On Repeat
As soon as it’s over, the shitstorm rolls in. The regret is instant.
Physically, I feel stuffed, sick, and heavy as hell. Emotionally, it’s a whole different mess. The shame and self-blame kick in hard: “Why do I keep doing this? You swore last time was the last time! What’s wrong with you?”
Then come the promises. “No more chips in the house. No ordering food for a month.” But deep down, I know it’s not about the chips or the food. It’s about the feelings I keep trying to bury.
Feel It or Feed It: Breaking the Binge Cycle
What’s up, boo? Let me paint you a picture. The world’s doing the absolute most, and there you are, exhausted, overwhelmed, and your brain starts whispering: “Just this one time. This’ll be the last time. I swear.” You’re too drained to figure out how to stop the pain, and before you even realize it, there’s a pile of wrappers staring back at you like, “Girl… what the hell just happened?”
Yeah. Same.
But I’m trying something different now. I’m tired of feeding the pain instead of feeling it. Deep down, I’ve always known I could sit with the discomfort, but let’s be real: when you’re in that moment, carbs sound like magic. Spoiler alert—they’re not.
Where It Starts: The Build-Up
Let’s be clear: binges don’t just pop out of nowhere, and they’re not really about the food. They’re about shutting down whatever feelings are bubbling under the surface.
For me, it usually comes down to two triggers:
First, exhaustion. I’ll be lying in bed, too tired to function but too wired to sleep. My brain’s like, “You know what’ll fix this? A truckload of carbs.” And it’s tempting because, yeah, it works—for a minute.
Second, that deep, old wound. You know the one—the one that whispers, “You don’t matter. No one sees you.” That voice hits hard, and suddenly food feels like the only way to escape.
Sometimes, I know it’s coming. I’ll sit there, fully aware, staring at the pantry or scrolling a food delivery app, trying to talk myself out of it. “Okay, just this one time. You need this to get through. After this, no more.” Other times, it sneaks up on me. I blink, and suddenly I’m surrounded by empty wrappers like, “Damn. I did it again.”
The Binge: Numbing Out
In the middle of it? It’s pure relief. For a little while, the pain, the sadness, the shame—they all disappear. The food shuts everything off. It’s comforting. It’s numbing. It’s like hitting pause on everything that hurts.
But here’s the thing: that comfort doesn’t last.
The Aftermath: Regret on Repeat
Once the binge is over, the regret hits like a truck.
Physically, I feel sick, stuffed, and heavy as hell. Emotionally, it’s a whole different mess. The shame and self-blame kick in hard: “Why do I keep doing this? You swore last time was the last time! What’s wrong with you?”
Then come the promises. “No more chips in the house. No ordering food for a month.” But deep down, I know it’s not about the chips or the food. It’s about the feelings I keep trying to bury.
And let’s not forget the spiral. “Well, I’ve already screwed up, so I might as well finish the week eating whatever.” That spiral used to last for weeks or even months. Now? I catch it sooner. Still, breaking the cycle is no easy thing either. I mean, it’s years of habits and hurt wrapped up in a single moment.
The Shift: Sitting With The Feelings
Here’s the truth…bingeing isn’t about food. It’s about what I’m running from. Whether it’s exhaustion, feeling like I don’t matter to anyone, feeling invisible, or believing I’m “too much” for anyone…the only way out of it? Through it.
And, let me tell you, sitting with those feelings is some hard shit! It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable af!
But, you know what? It’s also freeing in a way bingeing never was.
The 5 Steps to Feeling Instead of Feeding
- Pause
When the urge hits, I pause. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and just sit there. No TV, no phone, no distractions—just me whatever’s coming up. - Name the Feeling
“What am I feeling right now?” This part is tough, but it’s key. Sometimes it’s sadness. Sometimes it’s anger. Sometimes it’s that voice telling me I don’t matter. Whatever it is, I name it. Naming makes it real. Naming it makes it manageable. - Evaluate
“Is this feeling valid?” If it is, I let myself feel it fully. If it’s an overreaction, I dig deeper to figure out what’s really going on. Either way, I give myself permission to feel… without judgment. - Release
This is where I let it out. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I journal. Sometimes it’s a screaming session. Sometimes I just sit in the discomfort until it passes. The thing about emotions? They don’t last forever if I let them run their course. - Rebuild
After the storm passes, I start to rebuild. Music is my go-to. A song that reminds me of who I the fuck am. Sometimes it’s uplifting, sometimes it’s gangsta rap with a “fuck the world” vibe. Whatever it is, it helps me transition from survival mode to healing mode.
Breaking the Cycle: A Work in Progress
I’m learning that bingeing never fixes the feelings…it just delays them. And every time I let myself feel instead of feed, I take back a little more of my power.
I won’t lie and say I’ve got it all figured out. There are still days when the pause feels impossible, and I give in. But even then, I’m learning. I’m showing myself that I can survive my emotions without drowning in them. That I DO matter….no matter how loud that voice gets. That I’m NOT “too much,” even when I feel like I am.
The more I sit with my feelings, the stronger I feel. And that? That feels damn good.
Let’s Talk About It
What about you? Have you ever tried sitting with your emotions instead of avoiding them? What helps you face your feelings when they feel overwhelming? Drop your thoughts below….because healing doesn’t have to be a solo journey.
Until next time….
Love ya! Mean it!
